Blood Lust
by JDwritings
Summary: Elena has completed her transformation into a vampire and everythin is suddenly much mopre vibrant and intense, including her feelings for both the Salvatore brothers. Wrestling with blood lust, temptation, and desire Elena has to decide wether to fight for control or let go.


**Bloodlust**

Elena, having recently completed the transition into a vampire, stood in her moonlit bedroom staring at the reflection in her mirror. Slowly all her past compulsion was wearing off and she had hazily remembered the scenes with Damon that she had been compelled to forget, confusing her newly heightened emotions. Becoming a vampire has intensified her feelings towards both Salvatore brothers. Towards Stefan, who had been helpful and attentive throughout the past days during her transformation, she felt a deep connection through all that they had went through together and a strong sense of loyalty. However their shared experiences had also perked in Elena's vampire emotions a sense of frustration; would Stefan ever fully escape the darkness inside of him? She loved Stefan, undeniably, and had a strong sense of duty to him; Elena had felt supreme loyalty as a human and now she did not see how she could possibly turn her back on him.

However there was the other Salvatore brother. Who, surprisingly, had turned out to be the reliable one who stuck by her throughout Klaus' reign of terror. Damon had his own darkness of course, but Elena wondered that even in Damon's dark moments, she always felt that she could break through to him. The emotions Damon evoked in her were not quite as pure as her feelings for Stefan. Damon had gotten under her skin as a human and now Elena feared the hormones that might arise in her next time she was exposed to that seductive grin and glinting eyes. Elena shook her head, as though, with the movement, these thoughts would fall out; she did not like the idea of that uncontrollable reaction only Damon could evoke in her. Not that it mattered, she thought, it was just hormones, and hormones were fleeting and unreliable. What she and Stefan were rebuilding was solid, it was controllable, and they were soul mates…

"Elena?" Jeremy walked into the room, a welcome distraction.

Elena turned to look at her brother, "Jer you shouldn't be here!" but Jeremy merely shrugged his shoulders at his Elena's familiar big-sisterly tone. Elena could see her transformation was just as hard on Jeremy as it was for her, in fact it was proving so hard on everyone. She had barely seen Damon these past few days, she hated when he tried to avoid things he found difficult. She looked back up at her brother quickly, forcing Damon back out of her mind, "I'm ok Jeremy, I'm just grabbing a few things then I am going over to stay at Stefan's for a few days, just till I'm… settled."

"You can stay here!" Jeremy half-pleaded, then ashamed at his neediness he stood up straight, "I mean you seem fine around me, you won't hurt me, and I can take care of you" then he added, with evident bitterness, "You should stay in your own home, rather than living with a bunch of vampires."

Elena could not help but wince slightly at his words, she knew what Jeremy meant- he wanted her to stay as close as possible to her human life. Elena desperately wanted this too but she could not put her little brother at risk, she had to go to Stefan's until she was sure she was back in control. Stefan was doing his best to help her, he was out just now trying to bag some animal blood, and she was going to test herself on this over the next few days. All Elena could think about now was trying to make sure she could control her urges. She tried to give Jeremy a reassuring smile as she hurriedly stuffed some clothes into her bag.

Elena left her home for the Salvatore household. She was not sure if she could call it her home anymore since Jeremy had needed to give her permission to enter. It was as if nature did not think she deserved a home any longer, in fact that was probably the exact case. She started walking to the Salvatore house, touching the pavement delicately and trying to force herself to walk at a slow human pace. But the temptation to kick into the ground and run was just too much. Elena figured she may as well give herself that one vice; it was the only new thing about being a vampire she secretly loved: the adrenaline rush, the power, the freedom of it. She ran through the streets, jumping into the air, allowing herself some little enjoyment that she was no longer trapped in the limited human form.

The Salvatore household seemed dead when she arrived. Though it always seemed dead, Elena pondered over the irony of that for a second before pushing through the doorway. It was dark in the long corridor, but Elena's new eyes had enough light to see clearly. She assumed Stefan was not back yet so walked through into the drawing room.

"So how is Mystic Fall's newest vamp?"

Elena spun round, senses prickling, and saw Damon in the far corner helping himself to a drink.

"Drink?" he offered, there was a slight edge to his tone that Elena refused to bother interpreting. She was startled though by the realisation that Damon rarely offered her a drink in his home, she could only think off the time when she had just been attacked by Stefan and lost a lot of blood. She inwardly chuckled at the fact that only Damon would offer alcohol as a remedy for blood loss and trauma. Her mood was suddenly lighter than it had ever felt since her death, so she surprised both of them and accepted the offer of the drink.

Damon handed Elena some form of scotch then turned to light the fire. Elena sipped the strong fiery drink, feeling it warm her veins. It was comforting and seemed to calm some of the emotions riving in her body. She wondered if that was why Damon often sought comfort in the bottom of a bottle; to calm the otherwise overpowering emotions he was feeling.

"Why were you in here in the dark? Where have you been?" Elena questioned him, not able to hide the slight hurt in her voice that Damon had not made himself available to comfort and support her over the last few days.

Damon did not answer at first, but finished lighting the fire then sat on the sofa opposite her arm chair, sipping his drink. He finally said, "I just got in, I was trying to talk to Bonnie today about her witchy business but she didn't seem much up for hanging out" he made a nonchalant shrugging face that irritated Elena. The sudden surge of irritation made her stiffen in her armchair and Damon smirked. "Before that I was just generally keeping an eye on things, neighbourhood watch style, seemed that Stefan had the whole 'vampire training' thing covered".

Elena could tell that Damon was upset at the idea of not being the one to help Elena through this, she realised that he may have stayed away on purpose because he thought that was what was best. An overwhelming empathy flowed within her as she looked across at Damon, his loose black shirt, perfectly messed hair and easy-charm eyes. If her vampire experience thus far had showed her anything, it was the force with which emotions can take over you and for the first time she completely understood what Damon must have been through and why he had such a tendency to act out. He loved so heart achingly deeply and unwaveringly, that he allowed those he loved the power to hurt him, and Elena could tell that emotional heartache for a vampire would be potentially crippling.

"I've missed you Damon", Elena said the words almost without realising. She blushed as his piercing blue eyes shot up to hers, wondering idly at the idea of a vampire blushing before the intensity of the moment pushed all thoughts from her mind. She forced herself to look down; for once Damon seemed to be slightly unsure of what to say. She wished he would stop being so careful, she just wanted him back to his normal impulsive self, it was like he was trying too hard to do the right thing. Frustration bubbled within her and she looked up again, locking back into his gaze.

"I hate being away from you" Damon said quietly, surprising both of them at the vulnerability in his voice.

Elena did not know what was coming over her. She realised just how much Damon's absence had been missed over the past life-changing days since her death. But more than that, the intense consuming effect Damon had over her was amplified overwhelmingly. Her mind flashbacked to those new memories; Damon in her bedroom telling her he loved her, loved her so much that he wanted her to be with Stefan, he did not deserve her. But mostly her mind flashed to that memory of Damon when they first met, a memory she had been forcing away from her mind's eye since it became available, that significant moment when Damon met the old Elena; the happy completely human version of herself.

These memories flashed through her head and she was dying to ask him why he had kept their first meeting a secret. So many other questions, though Elena did not think she could handle the answers to any of them. She just looked into the pale blue eyes that had suffered through such pain and sacrifice yet still shone with such passion. She wanted to hug him, or was it she wanted to be close to him, to touch him; the distance between her armchair and his couch seemed like a mile. There was so much space in between them, so much cold empty air.

"Hey" Stefan wondered in, cutting through the atmosphere. Elena breathed out, realising in horror that she had been holding her breath and looked over to Stefan hurriedly, Damon more obviously looked annoyed by the interruption.

"All right baby bro?" Damon stood up and resorted to his usual tone, 'I'm off to bed if you are going to start bringing out the bunny juice'. He got up and went for the door, brushing past Elena's knee as he passed between the armchair and the sofa. His touch almost made Elena jump as though an electric current had passed through her, but she managed to use the shock to snap herself back to reality.

She smiled at Stefan, forcing herself to once again notice his high school quarter-back dreamy good looks, and focussed on the task of learning to control her lust for blood, a lust that she had managed to forget about completely for the last few minutes. Elena felt a stirring of hope that she would be much more successful than Stefan at controlling, or at least periodically forgetting, the blood lust.

Elena lay in a spare bed in the Salvatore's house, staring at the canopy above. The room felt as though it had been unused for decades, and it felt odd to be sleeping here. Obviously things were nowhere near back to the stage where she would take up residence in Stefan's bed again but she would have been comforted by the warmth and familiarity.

Tossing over she realised she was too wired to sleep. She suddenly felt thirsty. Well thirsty for blood, so a thirst mixed with a hunger mixed with the feeling of a desperate need to take a gulp of air. The desire upset her but Elena got up and decided to just accept the need; she would go downstairs and bring up a glass of the rabbit blood, which would get her through the night.

The landing creaked like it always did but it made Elena feel uneasy. She crept downstairs in just her nightdress she had found, unable to feel the cold. The fire was on again in the living room and she sensed Damon lounging on the sofa before she saw him. She froze and for a second she was about to turn back and just force herself to do without the blood until morning, but of course he had heard her make her way down the stairs.

"Couldn't sleep? The blood lust will keep you awake for a while," he said rather harshly.

Elena ignored him and wandered in to pour herself a glass of the bunny blood. She downed it in one go, ignoring how her entire being tried to squirm against it. Damon smirked over at her.

"Goodnight Damon" she turned to go back upstairs but he stood up in front of her. Her stomach summersaulted, she did not know if she could handle another tiresomely intense scene. She noticed that he was still dressed in his shirt and jeans; he obviously had never even attempted to sleep.

"Wait, how are you doing?" Damon asked her for the first time.

Elena had been insisting to Stefan that she was doing ok, she was insisting to her worried brother, to guilt-ridden Matt, to everyone yet she did not feel the need to lie to Damon. "It's hard to come to terms with, I feel like I'll never come to terms with it," she said quietly.

He hesitated then walked over to her, "It will take almost forever to come to terms with it, but you will, I think you are the only person I know that could come to terms with it," then he added with a small smile, "and you do have an eternity to try."

He was looking at her again, those piercing eyes that made her uneasy. She felt uneasy because they made her forget herself, and they made her forget her terrible transformation in that moment. She looked up at him, he was close to her, and their faces were very close. She could sense him there, feel his presence. He consumed her. Impulsive passion suddenly bubbled up and then overflowed within her. What had she to lose anymore? Elena gave in to her own wants for once. She stepped forward and kissed him.

Damon, caught by surprise, took a moment to react, and then pushed her roughly back into the bookcase. Elena wrapped her arms around him and hungrily pressed against him. He tasted of bitter scotch and sweetness and his lips were soft yet forceful. Their hands felt each other greedily.

Pausing for breath Elena pulled her lips away from his for a brief moment. She stared into his stormy eyes. His mouth hung open as though he was catching his breath also. Yet of course vampires had no need to catch their breath. But still they both felt so human, helpless and breathless. Elena looked deep into his eyes before allowing herself, for perhaps the first time ever, to let go. She forgot everything in the world apart from the man in front of her, and the relief was incredible.


End file.
